So decided not to just turn on the tv and veg out before going to bed and write a little incoherent babble. Ive relieved that I can be amused pretty easily and can also be easily distracted so we’ll see how I do with this one.  I always wonder if the 21 me could see the 31 me and wonder what he would say.  It was such a fun time in my life or I think.  You see I don’t hold on to memories of myself. I dont really know why but I just dont.  So where as people wait till there 60 before things start to get fuzzy. I have a hard time remembering things about my self now.  There are blips on the screen where I remember certain interaction with people but that is only because I tell that story about them often.  Holly I’m sorry but I dont remember your last name.  I was 21 in college so I know I knew you.  We dated for a while.. Memory is vital thing and I fear that in time mine will be gone.  Maybe that is on of my greatest fears forgetting the people around me.  Today started out to be a good day then suddenly its taken a turn not to a bad day dont get me wrong and people that I have spent time with today you really didnt have any part in it.  It wasnt until this moment right here when i started to talk about memory.  There are moments when I have try really hard to remember a thought that i had. There are only certain things that I remember the most. Like a tv show or well I guess any type of entertainment.  I remember I remember it all.  You remember in strange fiction when the guy says “I think Im in a tragedy”  I think I feel like that sometimes. Like Im watching my life as a movie because it seems so surreal. There many parts of my life in which I feel like I just continual live over and over again.  One part particular that it always seems to end up the same way.  New topic.  I remember a day when something I didnt feel was right when I would just quit and move on.  Now there are houses, staff, etc. Is that what happens to us.  We become this thing that our 21 year self asks what happened to you.  I dont really know about that one. let me think about what I mean and get back to you on that.  You ever keep clicking get mail hoping something or someone would be there.  Ok now I’m getting way off track.  If you cant remember your childhood what are you a product of? To many things to work out. I was going to work something out today.  Maybe one of the things on this list. Instead Im sitting on my couch writing some more things to work out.  Ok so I got a text on my phone and lost my train of thought.  So yeah.

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