Marvin Clifton St. Andrew Francis
(Yeah that’s my whole name)
This is to dispel any rumors about my thoughts on marriage. From my post on “my hope” should have ended the issue but recently Ive wondered if those kinds of thoughts have changed. I’ve made statements like “tell me about Paul’s wife” Ok that was pretty lame since I am no where near Paul. In fact I do know that if Paul knew me he wouldnt like me. Any way. My father divorced my mother when I was in 7th grade I think. I wouldnt say that it effected me that much but I never really went to a shrink or anything so who knows. I can’t remember life before the 4 grade so who knows what’s going on there. Anyway I’m sure that goes into my thinking of how I see marriage. Couples I love to watch are ones that look like they are truly friends. I’ve watch some that I would say seem to be more of a hassle being together And if you say that is their love language I’m going to smack you. Yeah and say well its tough or we’re working on it. There’s got to be a better way right. Like I look at that and say what is that to hope for. Two angry people who will one day find out you would make better friends outside of the house than in. Or you cheat on your spouse and chalk it up to well we “fell out of love” or “We are so much happier now” I havent talked to my dad really in over 10 years. Yeah that was the best thing for our family. I became a statistic another black male raised by their mother. I think my mother did a good job and I’ll fight anyone who says different.
And that’s what scares the crap out of me. I would hope to be in a house where there would dancing and laughter so maybe that’s part of breaking the cycle. I do know that im mostly estranged from my family. I see my mother every once in a while and my sister. When we do get together we do have much to say. Good stuff to say. But then that’s it we move on. So is that the picture of family that I have. Is that what my family has to look forward to. A father or husband that doesnt communicate. Break the cycle drew. I do know marriage looks like a wonderful thing. I dont think you have to know that to know Christ’s love. I’ve heard that said before. That maybe why I like going to church on a sunday night. Anyway lately Ive been seeing some guys who make marriage look like a blast. Not one where someone tip toes around the other so as to not piss the person off. That doesnt look like marriage to me. Or you giving up any dream or afraid to ask the other to join in that dream. That doesnt look like it to me either. So ask me “have i ever been in Love” I think…no I know. The kind that rips your heart out when its over. I cried like my aunt at my grandmothers funeral. Wasnt pretty. Pain. mmmm Marriage equals pain. Naw. Ive heard people say its the toughest thing they had ever done. Hmmm. I know this. if it wasnt for some friend of mine id be done with it. Now what i would ask is do you actively look for a mate or do sit and pray in your room. Some times I wonder if I have met her already. I also dont believe in the “there only one in the world.” There are a couple billion people on the planet folks. Odd if there is only one. Ok that’s all I got not much I know but thats it. Oh and future wife if you happen to be reading this. I’ll talk to you soon. Just think how funny it will be when I break out this post years from now and we all laugh. Oh and you want me to make some popcorn.
Drew Francis 
this is a great post man. you are right…marriage is supposed to be fun, an adventure, a risk. something that you do together. i hope that mine & maris’ marriage is an example for people. it might be presumptuous to say we are a good example…but you know what i mean. i hope our marriage shows people that you can be married & have a great time. you can change the world together.
bro i can’t wait to see you with the girl that you’re going to marry. it will be a creative force to reckon with. i’ll have to save my money to fly to africa or wherever to come visit you guys. haha…who knows. see you in two weeks.
you WILL break the cycle. you already have in your heart.
Your mother did a good job.
Whoever your wife is, she will be lucky to be yours. I like how you are processing this.
Im not married either and i wonder the same thing about if ive met her yet or not. sometimes i hope so because then she wont have to learn my retarded things. maybe she’ll already know that im partially retarded in certain areas.
Drew, man it is great to see someone who is real and doesn’t tip toe around a subject like this. I know for me and the things in my life with my family that have happen have caused me to take a second look at what marriage is suppose to be and look like. I am always encouraged by you, and so thank you for that.