poor girl

I bet she never knew she would make the New York Times (center girl)29rent01_600.jpg

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“I followed the music”

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So Im watching this movie right now. I kinda hate it when stories effect me. This one is doing a umber on me. Its getting me on two fronts. One…what music does to you. The feelings and memories it makes you have. Two…When we search for home, acceptance. I’m the not a player of music but do allow it to change me. Its kind of a goonies…peter pan…rent…Mr Hollands’ Opus…kinda thing. Ok back to it. I’ll be back. So how does a story do that to you how does it do that to me. I wonder if I see stories like someone sees music. From as long as I could remember I have had a tv in my room. The first vcr movie we ever rented was South Pacific we had to rent the vcr to. That was back in the day. We had cable ever since I could remember. The earliest tv shows that I remember are the Jefferson’s and Sanford and son. Trust me there is nothing like it in the world. I guess that’s why I dont see my self doing anything else. When I was teacher I ended up telling stories to them. I left the teaching to others I think. I’m alwasy thinking scenarios in my head Im not a very good writer I always need others to do that for me. I wonder sometimes if I live my life as if it were a movie or a play. Visuals are always something that get me in trouble because they linger way past when the should. Oh and I dont really care what you say you have to suspend your belief. That sometimes our stories can have a happy ending and sometimes just sometimes when you least expect it a story can talk to you more in 5 mins than your entire year. That when you least expect it for just that brief moment you forget about the list of responsibilities that plague you all year long. That you realize the power of picture is amazing the sensation that sound gives you the rush of the creator and creation. That art is more than just a passing fad. That such a creation is more…its more than life. That we has humans do poses the ability. You can live in your world cynicism that art is a thing for someone else who has the time to waste. I’ll tell you this I cant live in that world. Its hard enough to live in this one.

so another day

I had been working on some stuff so much I have missed these times.  Any way you ever have one of those days.  when you feel like you are in a war you didn’t ask for.  But here I am having to explain my self when I dont really have anything to explain.  its an odd thing I think. having  to feel like you are supposed to fight about something.  then your words come back to haunt you when you are just talking off the cuff. Sometimes i talk too much I think.  Oh enough vagueness we are in the midst of deciding tour theme. To be honest I’ve never really had to do that I’ve just had to interpret.  I kinda take it serious I think.  Anyway so we are in the middle of doing that. Camp theme camp together quickly.  Im very happy about that I think. I started to speak my mind lately and I think Im gonna hold that back.  people dotn really like that too much. Ok

Oprah’s big Give

The show is starting soon but Im right in the middle of across the universe. Ive never really listened to Beatles music. Anyone willing to share their music let me know. Any way. I will be joining Oprah as soon as the movie is over.

Ok so I ended watching the movie and dont really want to go back to it.  I had thought that i coudl live at that time that this movie was made. I think I woudl have like to watch I think.   I have realized something about myself. This isnt a recent thing.  I dont really write too well and not really good at math.  The stuff that Im good at. I think about that sometimes. What are those things that im good at. I Think that many times we assume that the things that come easy are the things we are good at I dont know i’ll have to think about that.  Many of the songs that were in this movie were song that i like and its sad to say that I didnt know that there were beatle songs.  Eric a friend of my is a great lover of the beatles.  I never really thought about it. I actually bought the album because of this movie.  I wouldnt say it was a good movie but it was a good sound track.  So Im working on a project for my church right now.   I dont know if its something Im good at.  So I enjoyed the movie. I really enjoyed it I did the old vod really made it easy.  I return to work this week.  It will be a good time I think.  In fact this week will be a good week. I havent spoken with some friends for a bit so I will try to reconnect with them.  The porch is still a great place for me. You dont buy a house for a porch right.

Well I guess oprah will have to wait.

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Day 1

Ok after a long hiatus from the track. Drew returns 2008

Today’s Play list

Never Let Go

Never Ending

Ater tehmusic stops

Jesus Muzik

Low

Remember the name

Slip out the back

Apologize

Toxic

Since U been Gone

All the same

Money maker

Stronger

Touch it

Jesus Walks

Drew On marriage

Marvin Clifton St. Andrew Francis

(Yeah that’s my whole name)

This is to dispel any rumors about my thoughts on marriage. From my post on “my hope” should  have ended the issue but recently Ive wondered if those kinds of thoughts have changed.  I’ve made statements like “tell me about Paul’s wife” Ok that was pretty lame since I am no where near Paul. In fact I do know that if Paul knew me he wouldnt like me.  Any way.  My father divorced my mother when I was in 7th grade I think.  I wouldnt say that it effected me that much but I never really went to a shrink or anything so who knows.  I can’t remember life before the 4 grade so who knows what’s going on there. Anyway I’m sure that goes into my thinking of how I see marriage.  Couples I love to watch are ones that look like they are truly friends. I’ve watch some that I would say seem to be more of a hassle being together And if you say that is their love language I’m going to smack you.   Yeah and say well its tough or we’re working on it. There’s got to be a better way right.  Like I look at that and say what is that to hope for. Two angry people who will one day find out you would make better friends outside of the house than in. Or you cheat on your spouse and chalk it up to well we “fell out of love” or “We are so much happier now”  I havent talked to my dad really in over 10 years.  Yeah that was the best thing for our family.  I became a statistic another black male raised by their mother. I think my mother did a good job and I’ll fight anyone who says different.

And that’s what scares the crap out of me.  I would hope to be in a house where there would dancing and laughter so maybe that’s part of breaking the cycle. I do know that im mostly estranged from my family. I see my mother every once in a while and my sister. When we do get together we do have much to say. Good stuff to say. But then that’s it we move on.  So is that the picture of family that I have. Is that what my family has to look forward to. A father or husband that doesnt communicate. Break the cycle drew.  I do know marriage looks like a wonderful thing.  I dont think you have to know that to know Christ’s love. I’ve heard that said before.  That maybe why I like going to church on a sunday night.  Anyway lately Ive been seeing some guys who make marriage look like a blast.  Not one where someone tip toes around the other so as to not piss the person off. That doesnt look like marriage to me.  Or you giving up any dream or afraid to ask the other to join in that dream. That doesnt look like it to me either.  So ask me “have i ever been in Love”  I think…no I know.   The kind that rips your heart out when its over. I cried like my aunt at my grandmothers funeral. Wasnt pretty.  Pain. mmmm Marriage equals pain.  Naw. Ive heard people say its the toughest thing they had ever done.  Hmmm. I know this.  if it wasnt for some friend of mine id be done with it.   Now what i would ask is do you actively look for a mate or do sit and pray in your room. Some times I wonder if I have met her already.   I also dont believe in the “there only one in the world.” There are a couple billion people on the planet  folks.  Odd if there is only one.  Ok that’s all I got not much I know but thats it.  Oh and future wife if you happen to be reading this.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Just think how funny it will be when I break out this post years from now and we all laugh.  Oh and you want me to make some popcorn.

Oprah

Ok so Im not usually a guy who gives up on a show. Wait a second I have invested too much time in the show to give up. I was informed that the lady that got kicked was non other than the wheel chair lady.  I love editing.  I went to the discussion boards. Wow what have a become to see what the big deal is.  People have asked for the head of Oprah Win a fry.   Don’t worry oprah because i will stick with you.  Here is what I think.  The team that raised all that money really didnt do all that. Two people I think gave them 70,000 each. so 140,000 came from two people.   You’re right its all about money and fund raising.  Maybe they should do a challenge where money is not involved. Hmmm Oprah.  We’ll see how that works out.   Ok enough of that. I have done two things today. 1. I made a purchase. I’ll talk about that tomorrow.  2.  I just got my pest control contract.  What the freak. I feel I have just been robbed.  Now I know why my dad walked around in a chemical suit.  More on that later.  Really seriously.  Hey if you haven’t read about the team Im traveling with make sure you do.

big Give two

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PART ONE

Ok. folks another night another big give. but I will just give a pre-show and post. The J man is over tonight so I wont be rude. Anyway they groups up together. One group got Andre Aggasi and another got Tony Hawk. I’m going to pick the Tony Hawk group. The other group is going to be fighting it out. Let the games begin.

Crap. I may have messed up I should have looked at the guys. Now I don’t now who will win. The wheel chair lady just said she is a fixer and she couldnt fix her wheel chair. Oh did you know that she is in a wheel chair.

Well it looks like I have missed the end. the dvr did not tape it so I really dont know how it ends. Anyone out there know what happened ?